Happiness Designer


“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”-Lao Tzu

Recently I was pulling up to park along the street, when I noticed a young man sitting on the sidewalk with a small sign that said he was travelling through but didn’t have any money. I paid my parking and on the way back, I stopped and gave him some money.

He was so appreciative , he said he would not be buying alcohol or anything like that. I smiled because I didn’t actually think that at all.

However, when I shared the story at an event, I was criticized for giving money , because this person was surely going to spend it on something he shouldn’t.

My question to you is can you give freely?

Let’s have a look at how you view your part in life:

  • Do you give to Charity? Any Charity or only specific ones?
  • Do you give to homeless people? Or people asking for money?
  • What stops you from giving money to people on the street?
  • Do you judge them? (e.g. get a job you lazy so and so)
  • Do you feel sorry for people in need or can you empathize with them and give to them without judging?
  • Can you imagine, walking a mile in another’s shoes?
  • If you saw a street person with a sign that said, I need money to buy cigarettes and booze, would you give to them? Why? Why not?
  • Do you give freely?

On my way out of the store, I passed by the young man again. He was still sitting there. He saw me and smiled, and I smiled too and gave him the change I received from my purchase.

I asked him where he was headed, and he told me that he and some friends were travelling, and he had either lost his wallet, or it was taken. His friends had gone on and he was just trying to get enough money to sort it all out.

He was a genuine, kind soul, and although I hadn’t given him much, I knew in my heart he was genuine in his thanks. I wished him well and I was on my way.

I have thought about this young man a few times, and I hope that he was able to find his way. It was a reminder to me that we are all so very blessed.

The only time I would not give money easily and freely is if I were being robbed. If you can make someone’s day a little brighter, would you do it?

Most of us would immediately answer yes to this, but it can get tricky when we add in all the factors. We all have a choice to give freely or not.

When you give from your heart, what that person does from then on is out of your control. You gave freely and you can feel good about it. We cannot control the actions of others, nor can you make someone “do the right thing,” because the right thing is different for everyone.

We are not the judge and jury.

It is much better to see into the person’s soul, be kind and empathetic of their circumstances, for unless we have walked in their shoes we really don’t know why they are where they are. But they have crossed our path for a reason.

Everyone has an opportunity to be kind in the moment, it doesn’t have to be about giving money. It can be about giving someone a prayer, a smile, a hot cup of coffee, or a leftover meal. It’s the intention behind the gift- our intention speaks volumes about who we are. What we see in the world around us is a direct reflection of how we view life.

If you see a guy whose teeth are missing asking for money and you judge him and think, get a job buddy, you judged him for being lazy and useless to society and so you walk on by. Have you missed an opportunity?

Or can you for a moment put a smile on the toothless guy’s face? You can dig deep and reach that very part of us that is vulnerable, the part that feels good to reach out to another. When someone is down on their luck, sometimes reaching out and giving a hand up can change the way that person views society.

We all need to look after one another. It is one of the reasons we are here having a human experience. What could be more human than helping another?

Sometimes it is a great experience to wear rose colored glasses- to see the ways in which you can contribute and make the world a better place, and it doesn’t hurt that you will feel good along the way. So, what are you receiving?

“For it is in giving that we receive.”-Francis of Assisi

  Posted: Wed Sep 9th 2015 6:25pm  6 years ago

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I had no expectations when I went to see Deb. I went there with an open mind just to see whether or not it might benefit me. I was not disappointed. Deb is kind, sensitive and respectful and I would not hesitate to go back and meet with her again. It was a truly positive encounter. -Janet F.